{"id":7860,"date":"2014-08-27T14:40:00","date_gmt":"2014-08-27T14:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/?p=7860"},"modified":"2014-08-27T14:40:00","modified_gmt":"2014-08-27T14:40:00","slug":"brace-yourself-a-buzzwords-rant-is-coming","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/brace-yourself-a-buzzwords-rant-is-coming\/","title":{"rendered":"Brace yourself, a buzzwords rant is coming"},"content":{"rendered":"

I hate buzzwords.<\/p>\n

There, I said it.<\/p>\n

In an industry that has such a breakneck pace of advancement, a constant stream of new buzzwords is inevitable. So, imagine my delight when I read a newly released style guide<\/a> produced by the Government for its online presence: it has a whole section on buzzwords and phrases that serve no purpose other than to confuse a situation, and their use is prohibited in governmental communication. I think this is a real step forward, and the private sector could do with taking note.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I appreciate that, in general, this kind of thing probably wouldn’t interest the average tech blog reader, but I just can’t help myself from creating my own “top ten buzzwords I hate” list. So, without further ado, here is my Top Ten Buzzwords I Hate list:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Blue sky thinking<\/strong> – WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?<\/li>\n
  2. Synergy<\/strong> – Why can’t we just say cooperation?<\/li>\n
  3. Guru<\/strong> – Makes me think of ayahuasca smoking tribespeople, how about “expert”?<\/li>\n
  4. Touch base<\/strong> – Eugh, we’re not in a changing room: what's wrong with “contact”\/”email”\/”call”\/”speak to” etc.?<\/li>\n
  5. Empower <\/strong>– Just makes me feel condescended, how about allow or permit?<\/li>\n
  6. Going forward<\/strong> – This makes my blood boil, I will not even offer an alternative.<\/li>\n
  7. Big Data<\/strong> – Unless you are Facebook, Google or Amazon, this does not apply to you. Next!<\/li>\n
  8. “Thing” 2.0<\/strong> – Web 2.0 is “normal” now; anything 2.0 is normal, stop saying 2.0.<\/li>\n
  9. Ephemeral<\/strong> – I don’t even know how this found its way into the tech buzzword world, but it did.<\/li>\n
  10. Best of breed<\/strong> – This is not a dog show. There are no huskies. Or treats. Please stop.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    <\/a><\/p>\n

    This is by no means an exhaustive list (I would get too ragey), but it’s a nice start. Quite a lot of this kind of communication grinds my gears (I think that’s because I’m a techie). In fact, even overhearing some of our marketing department discussing things can wind me up* – sorry guys!<\/p>\n

    If you happen to share my hatred of buzzwords, then you can actively fight against it by playing ‘Buzzword Bingo’ in your meetings.<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Everyone gets a blank grid of nine squares and has to write in the buzzwords and phrases they think are most likely to come up (provide a crib sheet of examples if needed!).<\/li>\n
    2. You can enter the same word\/phrase in more than one box, but you can only cross one out per instance it’s spoken or shown.<\/li>\n
    3. Whenever anyone else says (or displays, for example in a presentation), one of your words or phrases, cross it out.<\/li>\n
    4. Whoever gets a line first wins (if someone gets a full house, you might want to consider a career move).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      This works especially well for conference calls as there’s no way to cheat, and it’s even funnier. You’re welcome.<\/p>\n

      <\/p>\n

      And this leads me nicely onto asking you guys what’s the worst buzzword or buzzphrase you’ve ever heard? Drop me a comment below and we can commiserate together.<\/em><\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n

      * Though it is refreshing to work for a company that encourages us to write for its blog, but has the integrity to let me publicly mock it \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n

      (Original image\/header credit<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      I hate buzzwords.<\/p>\n

      There, I said it.<\/p>\n

      In an industry that has such a breakneck pace of advancement, a constant stream of new buzzwords is inevitable. So, imagine my delight when I read…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8181,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7860","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-misc"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7860","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7860"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7860\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8181"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7860"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7860"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heartinternet.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7860"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}