Managing client expectations is the bane of creatives’ lives. From limitless requirements to limited budgets, to the proverbial ‘I need it by tomorrow’, there are things clients say that only you will ever get.

Whether you’re a graphic designer, web designer, tattooist or photographer – you’ve felt the pain. Those moments when the words “the client is always right” stick in your throat. Try explaining your angst to a friend or loved one – they’ll never understand like you do.

So it is that when we shared recently some of the maddening things clients say, we tapped into a vein of raw creative emotion.

Well, here we are again, with yet more evidence that clients are the enemy and dealing with them can be a war of nerves.

Deep breath … We’re going in:

1. Hurry up and wait

ME: “So, you’ve had this for four weeks, but only decided to change it after it went live?”

CLIENT: “Is that okay?”

ME (through gritted teeth): “Why wouldn’t it be?”

2. I’ll know it when I see it

CLIENT: “I don’t know what I want yet, but it isn’t that.”

ME: “Ohhh-kay.”

CLIENT: “I’ll know it when I see it.”
ME: “Oh, good.”

3. Overexposed

CLIENT: “You’ll get publicity. Exposure!”

ME: “Do I need that, though? After all, you found me!”

4. Just a quickie

ME: “I have learned that the ease with which the phrase ‘quick job’ is bandied around, is inversely proportional to how long the job will actually take.”

5. Can you just…

CLIENT: “Can you just…?”

ME: “Absolutely. I’ll press the “Can You Just” button and it’ll run sophisticated algorithms that haven’t been invented yet.”

CLIENT: “Good.”

6. Same but different

CLIENT: “I want it the same, but different”.

ME: “Same stuff, different day.”

7. Want it yesterday

ME: “Yeah, sorry, my version of Photoshop doesn’t have the time travel plugin. So I can’t get that to you by yesterday.”

CLIENT: Nods sympathetically.

8. Print magic

CLIENT: “I printed it out, but now the gif isn’t moving?”

ME: “Did you use the Harry Potter paper?”

9. Send me the files

CLIENT: “We’ve decided to go with another designer, but we really liked your ideas. Can you just send the files over?”

ME: “How about ‘no’.”

10. A right tool

CLIENT: “This Photoshop file won’t open in Word. What can we do, please?”

ME: “Ehm… Buy Photoshop.”

11. What have the Romans done for us?

CLIENT: “There’s something wrong. My computer’s turned all the text into Latin.”

ME: “Lorem Ipsum? No, it’s meant to be like that.”

CLIENT: “But we don’t sell goods to Italy.”

12. The one great client who makes it all worthwhile

CLIENT: “I prefer using you to that bigger agency.”

ME: “You do know I charge about the same as them?”

CLIENT: “Yeah, but with them I’m paying for their big office. With you, I’m paying for your talent.”

ME: “I think I love you.”

Tell us your client horror stories

Awwww. We thought we’d finish on a high.

We’re pretty sure there are moments here you’ll recognise from your own bitter, hard-won experiences.

We’d love to spread the word and create another list – from your own “the client is always right” moments – both good and bad!

After all – they can’t all be bad. Can they?

Let us know in the comments below…